Inconvenience Store

Patrons of the African grocery store below me have a bad habit of stealing my parking space. It's clearly posted that it is Permit Parking for Apartment 203 Only, Violators Will Be Towed. Unfortunately, only the landlord is authorized to have people towed. So I have to settle for parking as close to my spot as I can. The place closest to my spot is immediately behind the offending parker, so that's where I park. They are then blocked in, of course, but they probably should have thought of that earlier.

When I come back down to the parking lot 5-10 minutes later, there's an irate grocery shopper waiting for me. They ask, "Is this your truck?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," I reply, "was that inconvenient for you? I guess I should have been more thoughtful about where I parked.

"But you know what else is inconvenient? Paying for a parking space and having to wait till you're done with your grocery shopping before I can use it." (This last part is said with much gesturing to the sign and flinging my arms around in frustration, just in case there is a language barrier.)

Because here's the thing: there are plenty of open parking spaces in the lot, but mine looks like it's more convenient. I feel the most reasonable response is to make my spot far less convenient.

One shopper at a time.

Oh right, I almost forgot...

When going through the checkout at Dollar Tree, I saw this:

For me, this raises 2 questions:

1) Do people actually buy pregnancy tests for a dollar? Do they trust them? Regardless of the result, I don't think I'd feel any more confident about my state of affairs after taking the test than I did before.

2) Is this really an impulse item? Are there really people who are checking out, see a pregnancy test, and think "Oh right! I've been meaning to get one of those."? Has anyone EVER forgotten they meant to buy a pregnancy test? Does pregnancy cause loss of attention span?

My friend Lauren suggested that maybe people buy them to give as gifts. That's the best explanation I've heard so far. Any other ideas?

Code of Hobo

Check out what I noticed outside my apartment recently:



















That's right: Hobo Code. I think the one on the top means "this apartment has a great couch setup," the one in the middle left means "high definition projector," and the ones in the middle right are pretty clearly rabbits in cages. All of those are fine, but the one that worries me is the one at the very bottom. The three diagonal lines mean dangerous and the wavy line means fresh water... do the hobos know something about our water that I should be concerned about?

One man's trash

Once, when visiting France, I was walking down the sidewalk when I noticed a bunch of pistachios scattered beneath a tree. I had never eaten pistachios before and didn't know they were native to France, but I figured they must taste best when they're fresh so I should probably try some. I picked up a handful and started eating them as I continued my walk. It was a sunny summer day and I felt happy about life. Here I was, exploring a new country, enjoying its beautiful scenery, and snacking on its native fruit straight from the tree. Suddenly I realized that I was actually having an altogether different experience than I thought...

...the pistachios were salted.

I’m With You On This One » Overheard in Minneapolis

I’m With You On This One » Overheard in Minneapolis

This was my first contribution to www.overheardinminneapolis.com. If you haven't been there before, you really should check it out.

Edit:

It appears the site is down or no longer works.  Here was the post:

I’m With You On This One

Guy with stocking cap pulled down almost to his eyes: I had to do it.  Eyebrows grow back, $300 bets don’t.

St. Paul, Bethel University Dining Hall
Overheard by Of course you had to.